How do I do it?

Sometimes I know I am the biggest bitch in the world, sometimes I am hate myself, but the rest of the time I am who I am, and live with it. Someone made a comment the other day that if a person has self esteem issues that they should see a physciatrist. Huh What? Doesn't the entire human race have esteem issues, isn't that the core cause of hatred, wars, and death? mmmmm. Just made me give a head a shake. Those people in life that you meet that do not show any self esteem issues are the ones generally villified and hated. At least in my experience.

I believe I hurt someone I care about deeply. I did not do it on purpose, but never the less I think I hurt her. I apologized and have not heard back. Once again I am to the point of knowing that people are not comfortable accepting me for who I am.

I still have no passport.

I still have no concrete plans for holidays.

This thing with DH wrist being broken affects us in many ways. We lose the overtime that has just always been there, he is around more, which really messes up schedules, and I love having him around. I can't imagine in a couple of months when he leaves again, the transition for me will be hard, and for the kids even worse.

DD goes to a school that she is bused to. Next year a school across town in closing and they are busing the kids to DD school. I knew this for a while, and knew that it would mean bigger classes and less attention. It never crossed my mind that we would lose our most precious principle. Please don't make her go. So sad. DD said she cried when she told the kids yesterday, we will probably get told today at assembly. She is fantastic principle. One of the reasons I had DD attend this school was due to this principle.

So my stress is out of control, I have a hard time formulating complete thoughts. Myles follows me and says calm down, I look at him with tears falling down my cheeks and say I don't know how any more. I just don't know anymore.