Oscarisms

I feel so sad today. Totally out of control. I have sat at my desk at work and cried. So what is up: I am stressed DH is coming home tonight for the weekend. I have way to much work to do. DS gave me extreme grief over going to daycare AGAIN today. Jeanie memorial service is today. There are things I want to do, and just do not seem capable to do them. New meds have not kicked in. A friend has avoided me and no clue why. People are hurting all over, things are happening. I feel it so intensely. Why cannot I be one of the people to focus on the positives and forget the negatives? Tears are supposed to be theraputic but they are not. Why do crashes happen after such highs? Freakin Fridays about sums it up. To day is Leap Day. Happy Birthday Glenn and Samu. Enjoy them, you do not get them often.

I am woman hear me roar, really really this is me. I have never wanted to be a man. I have always loved to be a lady. I think I would have loved to have lived a couple hundred years ago and been a pampered lady that was totally looked after by the males in her family. It is just me. I am not a frilly, lacy, done up kind of lady either. My nails are never done, I do not wear makeup, my hair is wash and wear, but I consider myself all woman. I love being the sensual one.

Guarded - thats me. Totally guarded. I have a huge brick wall that is built around myself. I do not often let any one in. Growing up the way I did I was often hurt and let down. I found it easier just to distance myself, be guarded and that way I wouldn't be hurt. Even as an adult the few times I have let people inside my little brick walls, I have been hurt. I think it is because once I do let that guard down, it is totally down, so then I am wide open for the hurt. Working in a competitive career, you also have to be guarded, you do not know what will stab you in the back, or who wants what you have. Maybe I just think to much, maybe I take things too seriously, whichever it may be guarded definitely describes me.

Kids on the raft that goes over to Tom Sawyer Island. I think for them that was the funnest part of the whole entire park. Tarzans Treehouse, DS wanted to climb this rope so bad, he loved this treehouse. DS in one of the original Autotopia cars that is at the hotel where we had Goofys Dinner. DS from the top balcony of the Mark Twain looking down at New Orleans Square

4 am - wake up when I hear DH leaving, his diesel truck is noisy 5 am - DS crawls in bed with me, he is snuffly 6 am - DS goes to check on DD as he hears her up 6:30 am - DS comes and crawls back in bed with me 7 am - alarm goes off 7:02 am DD comes and tells me it is after seven 7:15 I give up snoozing the alarm I then proceed, to shower, eat, feed two kids, make lunch, get DS ready for daycare, administer medicines to them, get DD out the door for school bus, start van so frost melts, end up scraping frost anyway, convince DS he has to go to daycare 8:17 see DD get on bus 8:30 drop DS off at daycare some days a struggle some days not, today was not a good one 8:45 arrive at work 9:00 called into bosses office (got my annual raise) woohoo (too bad daycare hikes were more than it. 9-5:15 work on payables, receivables, payroll, finish year end, start February, finish liability insurance forms, tackle phone calls emails etc 5:30 pick DD up at school 5:45 pick Ds up at daycare 6:00 go buy

Virtual Jeannie passed away. My prayers and thoughts go out to her entire family in their time of loss. I am sad, and in shock, and crying. I had the pleasure of meeting this wonderful lady in Texas in August. I am so glad I had the chance. She was full of joy, grace, and fun. She had a real mischevious streak in her. Here is a LO I did of her, I had her write her own piece on it, and for that I am very glad. The top one is one out of her gallery that she did of a lunch we all had together that trip.

I spoilt myself and arranged to do a Princess dinner for my birthday. I had planned on getting back to the hotel to change before, but it never happened. Looking like I did among all the other dressed up patrons embarrassed DD, there were little girls in elaberate dresses, all the Princess costumes, I didn't feel much better. I felt bad. This is a hologram so it didn't scan well. My Birthday picture. One upset Mom, a pissed off Dad, an embarrassed little girl, and one cranky little boy. Why do I even try? We did Space Mountain three times in a row first thing in the morning on my birthday. Notice the coats, the hoodies, it was the coolest day there. I jinx my birthday.

This truly was a year of a million dreams for us. Last year at that precise time we were battling with lawyers, the insurance company, and either having to settle out of court or go back to trial for the second time. My lawyers Dad died right in the middle of it, and it was actually her partner that finally got a settlement that although was not appropriate was something that we could live with. From that week in Mid February 2007 when I turned 40, had the weight of the world bearing down on me, wondering just where it would all end, to one year later, sitting in Disney, having a vacation. Truly a year of a million dreams. Jack Sparrow is all mine. LOL. And I am not even really into Johnny Depp. Gotta laugh. DH told him to run for his life, I was out to get him. DD didn't even know who he was. Unless you come from a cold snow ridden land you cannot realize the magic of a palm tree in February. They are so special and exciting. I love the one picture, I actually look happ

DS did not like the characters, here tigger is petting DS head while he is hiding behind me. Tigger is quite the character. Roger Rabbit cars in Toontown Space Mountain was a huge hit, totally. Three times in a row the morning of my birthday, and countless other times too. DS loved it.

Laguna Beach - using a postcard as the title LOL Love this picture of him, I think I will get an enlargement of it. DS first Ocean experience, he had not quite understood what a beach was. Playing at Laguna Beach DS got to see the cockpit on the way down to CA, the pilot then welcomed him over the PA. On the way home there was an awesome sunset

That was AWESOME were words heard constantly from my DS during our vacation. DS 4 and DD 7 Feb 7 - Flew out of Calgary direct to LAX, delayed due to snowstorm in Toronto. Went to downtown Disney and checked it out. Picked up tickets. Took over an hour to do as Disney could not find Westjet vacations reservation for one of the character dinners, thank heavens I had the printouts with me. Feb 8 - Into Disney land. Took the train around the park. Rented a locker. $7 ouch. We did main street then hit Splash Mountain (numerous times), haunted mansion, Critter country, Pirates, New Orleans, the Pooh characters. DS is scared of them. Walking really tired him out. Hit CA for the Electric light parade, and some rides. The zepher, jelly fish, orange. Were some of the last ones out of the park. Watched the fireworks from the balcony of the Camelot. Could hear a lot of the music that went with them. Feb 9 - Went to IHOP for breakfast, then hit the hotel pool, cool water, but the sun was wonderful.

I am definitely happy to be going. So while my blog is stale for the next two weeks, just think of me basking in the sun and looking at palm trees and having a wonderful time.

Here is the copy of the program from Auntie Ina. Afterglow: The picture that graces it is one of the ones she did herself. I'd like the memory of me to be a happy one. I'd like to leave an afterglow of smiles when the day is done. I'd like to leave an echo whispering softly down the ways, of happy times and laughing times and bright and sunny days. I'd like the tears of those who grieve to dry before the sun of happy memories I leave behind-- when the day is done. Psalms were 16 & 23 The Hymn "All things bright and beautiful" Isaiah 41:10 John 3:16 1 Corinthians 15:35-58 Solo: In the Garden The Hymn "Just a Closer Walk with Thee" There will be a burial in September out here near the farm on her birthday.

When I decide to do something I do it all the way. I committ all the way, and throw myself into it 100% of the way. I believe this is a trait called hard working. I also believe in working smarter not necessarily harder. So it is a catch 22. I have been a good employee everywhere I worked, yet time and time again something would happen that I would get hurt about. People were threatened by my work ethic, my committment and my loyalty.

You must post the rules before you give your answers.You must list one fact about yourself for each letter of your middle name.Each fact must begin with that letter.If you don't have a middle name, just use your maiden name.After you've been tagged, you need to up-date your blog with your middle name and answers.At the end of your post, you need to tag one person for each letter of your middle name. (Be sure to leave them a comment telling them they've been tagged and need to read your blog for details). Middle name being The as in Oscar The Grouch T - thoughtful H - home body E - excitement (gotta find it) I tag Kristen, Lindi, Jes

Loyal - I believe myself to be a loyal person. When someone earns my loyalty I will stick by them no matter what. I think it comes from not letting many people inside my four little protective walls that surround me. Those that do get inside I am loyal to. I have my beliefs, my code of ethics, and it is very important to me that I am true to myself. That is loyalty as well. What I do believe in, I believe with all my being. My family, my work, my morals. I am true to them which to me is the most loyal I can be. Disney is getting closer and closer. I am so excited. Doing laundry, trying to pack, getting ready. It will be here in no time