Oscar's Erotic Name
Thanks Blue for the link.
April 19 is a rough day
20 years ago today I miscarried a baby. I can imagine myself with a 20 year old running around. Maybe even a grandma, that is a rough thought. For years when I could not conceive I wondered if I was being punished for miscarrying my first. I was young, got pregnant in college, and was sick all the time. I had morning sickness 24 hours a day every single day, I lost a lot of weight. I was alone and I was scared. I went to bed one night feeling very ill, I woke up two days later in the hospital. I had hemarraged and been uncousious, and almost died. I miscarried in my fifth month. When I missed college some friends tried to reach me and couldn't so called my ex and he had the landlord let him in. It saved my life. I have always felt so guilty that I was just that little bit relieved that it had happened. I was so young, and on my own, and did not want a child raised the way that I had been raised. Feelings just all over the place. It hit me like a ton of bricks again w
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The job had a lot more to it that wasn't really explained to me before I accepted it. Basically if I had signed the contract I would have been signing in for 2 years. If I bowed out before 2 years I had to pay back the portion of my training costs I hadn't 'earned back' for the business... $30,000 worth. Also the commission was explained but when I started I got to see how much the other consultants were making... not much at all. And to top it off if I didn't make 7,500 a month profit for the shop (as an idea a $3000 trip to the UK makes $240 profit for the shop) I stand to lose my job.
I was stressing out, freaking out, having panic attacks so I cam home from training and talked it out with Mike. We decided it wasn't worth the stress so I didn't sign the contract. So now I am on the search for something else. Hope that explains it better :) Missing my SJ girls!