Don't ask a question unless you want an answer

and even then you may not get it.

Mom has her surgery tomorrow, she is all hyped about it. So she had done up a will, living will, and power of attorny, and had me, my sister and two witnesses come over Friday night to sign things.

Well after the witnesses left I asked mom a question.

Who is my Dad? My sister was still there.
Why did we live the way we did?
Why didn't you step in and protect me from the abuse?
My sister had a number of questions too.
We told mom often and frequently that we loved her and that we just wanted answers.

Her reply to most everything was well that is over and done with there is nothing she can do about it now.

I just want answers, that is all. I have to come to terms that answers will never happen.

Comments

Cheyenne said…
I think I would want to know the truth too but it must hurt your Mom to even have to say the words...
Maybe she will change her mind and tell you anyway. Or let her know that it's of the utmost importance for you to know. Then again, maybe she doesn't know herself. Or she is trying to protect you from whatever it is she doesn't want you to know. I really don't know what else to say. It's a difficult situation at best.
11:01 PM
Yankee said…
I am sorry you did not get the answers.
I have a friend who has struggled with not knowing things also and she is trying to always be the mom that her mother never was. She is probably one of the best moms I now.
6:58 PM
Paula... said…
I know it must be soooo hard on you not knowing the answers to so many questions most of us simply take for granted. However it must be so very painful for your mum, that she just doesn't want to go there. Sometimes not knowing is better than actually knowing the truth IYKWIM.

Maybe one day she'll make peace with her inner demons and tell you what you want to know.
4:20 PM
Anonymous said…
I'm sorry. I think you are entitled to the truth. I wish your mom could understand that you aren't asking her to change things . . . you just want some answers.

I'm sorry that she can't or won't give you those. :hug:
1:28 PM
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