DH 50th Birthday Surprise

I mentioned to DH about 8 am Saturday that he had until about 10 to do his stuff whatever it may be and then I wanted him. He goes on and on about "We will see". Well I said this is not optional. And then he said you will not tell me what to do. I said again as of 10 you are mine, just trust me. He goes on again in that damn voice of his "He will see". Well by then I am in tears, pissed off and say to him, if you don't agree to it, I will damn well do it by myself. He went and did some stuff, came back, I asked him if he had changed his mind. NOPE. So I took the kids down to Mom's and did a couple of things, and then went back home to have lunch before I left. I asked one last time are you coming or not? He very very very very begrudgingly said yes. I was so hurt, and so so so angry, that I had smoke coming from my ears. He always thinks "stuff" is more important than time spent with the family. I have told him over and over that on his deathbed he is not going to be saying "gee I wish I had spent more time on stuff".

So we are not talking, the sizzling air between us in the vehicle is enough to fry eggs I am sure. So I drive a half hour to the south, and make a turn onto a secondary highway (by now it is almost 1 not the 10 I had wanted). My tummy is starting to bother me too from the strain. I make the turn and out of his mouth comes the words "We are going to Rosebud". I am still angry and I say WHAT? You knew? How did you know?

This is the story in August I called DH boss and ensured that he would have the weekend off, not be on call, etc etc. Then I called and got tickets for live theatre in this little town that is renowned for its theatre. And then I phoned and got a bed and breakfast. I mentioned to the lady at the bed and breakfast that it was a surprise for DH birthday and she said she loved deviousness. So she was going to arrange a totally candlelight room to come back to, with strawberries, chocolate, and wine. It took me a lot of planning, time and energy to pull this off.

So he tries to back peddle and say he just guessed but he had blown it. Seems his boss had mentioned to a friend that we were going out of town for the weekend. So that friend had called him early to wish him a happy birthday mentioning that he was calling early due to us being out of town. So the surprise was ruined.

What really got to me the most and HURT me deep inside the most, is that he was such an azz about it, giving me such a hard time about it, delaying, saying he had stuff to do that was more important when he KNEW the WHOLE time. KWIM? That really hurt. What gives him the right to treat me that way.

So we eventually get where we are going, he sticks his nose up when he finds out we are in a B&B rather than the one INN in town. We check in and he is pleasantly surprised, we go to the supper and he is impressed with it, I am asking am I forgiven? We says maybe. Then I think to myself why the hell should I be forgiven, I didn't do anything wrong, I did something nice. The strolling guy with the guitar sang happy birthday to him blues style. We go to the theatre it was "Tent Meeting" very good. There is a place in the show when an actor says, "Wake up George, you got a good woman there.". Man those are words that DH had better have heard.

By then though my strain has turned my tummy to mush and I did not have a nice night, or next day. We came home without doing any sight seeing.

I have a very bitter taste in my mouth. I even told him that the next time I do something nice for him will be when he turns 100. He is like, "well there is so much stuff to do". blah blah blah. What I am trying to wrap my mind around is that since he knew we were doing something, even though he might now have known exactly what, why the hell was he so mean to me about it. I really should have just gone by myself. I really should have.

It has taken me this long to even be able to put into words, my thoughts on the subject.