Living with chronic pain

Chronic pain sucks - I live with it daily, I survive it daily, I battle it daily, I try to avoid it, and forget it is there, I fill my life with activities to try to overcome it. On some days though it crashes through in brutal reality. To have to heave over the white elephant due to pain is not good. The naseau, the quiziness, the lack of focus, and concentration impact every ability I have. I do not talk about it often, to those around me, or those I know on line, I offer advice to others on what works or hasn't worked for me. Some take my knowledge and apply it and give things a try, just as I do with what others offer. I am a fighter. I was offered permanent disability back in 1997. I did not take it. I could not see spending the rest of my life sitting and wallowing. I still cannot see myself doing that. I fight for my life every single day. Right now with fall coming and the cool dampness every early morning and evening I hurt. I hurt bad. Every joint and muscle in my body aches. My skin once again hurts to touch. Clothing is agony. My current meds are not doing what they used to do. The thing that is new that is on top of all that chronic stuff is the headaches I suffer. I cannot stand noise, and now light is really affecting me. My eyes just hurt, which makes the inside right side of my brain hurt. Like a little rectangle all on its own. I can feel the perfect sides of it, and the hot burning pain pushing its way into the rest of my brain. I think if I can keep it centralized within that rectangle I can go on. If I cannot I do not know if I can. It was so severe the weekend before Texas I could barely move. I was very very close to cancelling Texas, I do not like to be held hostage within my body.
My back and neck and shoulder are hurting. I hurt to sit, I hurt to lie.
Enough about me.

I went to visit my friend Greg last night in the hospital. He is doing better than I expected. He is responding well to antibiotics. Once the infection is under control they will then think about the hernia operation. He is also unable to undergo the gastric bypass in the shape he is currently in. If he loses weight, responds well to all other treatments, then he may be on the list for it. Only when all that is taken care of would he even be eligible for a kidney transplant. He definitely can use your thoughts and prayers.