Spiritualism
I'm not really a believer in luck. Either good or bad. I believed we controlled our destiny through the choices we made. I did believe in God but I was soured on mans interpretation of religion. I had turned 45 that year and hated the thought of getting older and hated the thought of death.
I was in a private room not monitored when I had my first SCA. The nurse had been in to check my vitals and stuff that morning. I'd told her I was going to have a nap. She said she had other morning stuff to do. 10 minutes later she told me she had an overwhelming urge to go back to my room. There was no need to, but she had this urge to. She found me dead. Started CPR. My resuscitation was long drawn out not an easy thing. I was cooled but the next day had another SCA. The next day while my husband held my hand, I had my third separate SCA. He said at that moment he said dear God please don't take her away. He had not believed in God for his adult life. He did things on his own. But that day he prayed. He still says there were miracles involved with me.
He had been the one to tell our two children I was sick and would die. He had to tell my Mom and his Mom. He was the one making decisions on removing life support. He said he had immense comfort after his prayer. I was life flighted to a city hours away where I continued to fight for my life.
My husband texted a person I'd been conversing with on my phone saying what was going on. He didn't know her but of everyone in my texts it was her he updated. She was the one that got the word out to an international group of scrap book ladies I knew online. I literally had people around the world praying for me. Positive thoughts. Lighting candles. Why did he pick her and not someone else?
Our daughter had turned 12 just days before my SCA. She was actually at a Christian camp, when my husband drive to tell her I was ill. That Christian camp invoked their world wide prayer network. I've driven out to it twice now since and every time I enter that chapel I get a feeling of absolute calm come over me.
Weeks later when I finally left ICU my daughter asked to speak to me alone. Her question was did you see a light. My memory was fried, really fried. I said I didn't remember.
I know I did come back with my belief in God absolute and enduring, without question. I no longer fear death. I know it's something better. Not sure how I know that but I do.
I had made a comment in front of a doctor one day to a visitor. I said it was a miracle i lived. The doctor interrupted and said, it was not a miracle, it was good doctors. His comment really mad me mad. My friend looked at him and said maybe the miracle was having the good doctors. The doctor shut up. But it really made me think, and evaluate what had happened.
My belief is absolute. It strengthened and grew.
I was in a private room not monitored when I had my first SCA. The nurse had been in to check my vitals and stuff that morning. I'd told her I was going to have a nap. She said she had other morning stuff to do. 10 minutes later she told me she had an overwhelming urge to go back to my room. There was no need to, but she had this urge to. She found me dead. Started CPR. My resuscitation was long drawn out not an easy thing. I was cooled but the next day had another SCA. The next day while my husband held my hand, I had my third separate SCA. He said at that moment he said dear God please don't take her away. He had not believed in God for his adult life. He did things on his own. But that day he prayed. He still says there were miracles involved with me.
He had been the one to tell our two children I was sick and would die. He had to tell my Mom and his Mom. He was the one making decisions on removing life support. He said he had immense comfort after his prayer. I was life flighted to a city hours away where I continued to fight for my life.
My husband texted a person I'd been conversing with on my phone saying what was going on. He didn't know her but of everyone in my texts it was her he updated. She was the one that got the word out to an international group of scrap book ladies I knew online. I literally had people around the world praying for me. Positive thoughts. Lighting candles. Why did he pick her and not someone else?
Our daughter had turned 12 just days before my SCA. She was actually at a Christian camp, when my husband drive to tell her I was ill. That Christian camp invoked their world wide prayer network. I've driven out to it twice now since and every time I enter that chapel I get a feeling of absolute calm come over me.
Weeks later when I finally left ICU my daughter asked to speak to me alone. Her question was did you see a light. My memory was fried, really fried. I said I didn't remember.
I know I did come back with my belief in God absolute and enduring, without question. I no longer fear death. I know it's something better. Not sure how I know that but I do.
I had made a comment in front of a doctor one day to a visitor. I said it was a miracle i lived. The doctor interrupted and said, it was not a miracle, it was good doctors. His comment really mad me mad. My friend looked at him and said maybe the miracle was having the good doctors. The doctor shut up. But it really made me think, and evaluate what had happened.
My belief is absolute. It strengthened and grew.
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