Temper
As a child I had a wicked temper. A wicked one. Never violent, just loud. As I aged it became a non issue and very seldom ever surfaced.
Since my SCAs my temper is back. Violence with loudness. I've broken keyboards, thrown things at walls, slammed doors, stomped, and then the loudness. My level of volume is in direct proportion to the frustration I'm under. Not just volume but the words I use. I could curse with the best sailor out there.
The real question is why? Why has it become so bad since my SCAs? Why is it impossible to control?
It's not fair to my kids, or my husband or really even to me.
It's like I see red and the words just pour forth. I can keep a tight hold on it for days, or weeks, or even a month, then in a single day it's just lost.
I hate myself for it.
Since my SCAs my temper is back. Violence with loudness. I've broken keyboards, thrown things at walls, slammed doors, stomped, and then the loudness. My level of volume is in direct proportion to the frustration I'm under. Not just volume but the words I use. I could curse with the best sailor out there.
The real question is why? Why has it become so bad since my SCAs? Why is it impossible to control?
It's not fair to my kids, or my husband or really even to me.
It's like I see red and the words just pour forth. I can keep a tight hold on it for days, or weeks, or even a month, then in a single day it's just lost.
I hate myself for it.
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