Waking memories
Sometimes something will trigger a memory or at least give me a sense of déjà-vue.
Austin wakes up and tells me he is scared. I ask him why. He is thinking of the time him and dad went to a bank and dad started crying. Austin says dad was so upset leaning on the counter he couldn't talk. So Austin had to tell the lady he was crying because his wife just died. But today almost two years later Austin is upset he didn't tell the lady that his mom had died.
Innocence of children.
This brought back to me waking in a hospital bed. I'm thinking I should know that voice. Why do I know that voice? Who is that? I'm looking past her out the window, thinking Red Deer doesn't have skyscrapers. I'm in a white room. Hmmm. Why are there tall buildings? Who is this woman talking to me? Why should I know her? I'm a long way up. Hmmm why do I have needles in me? Why do I have an IV? This looks like a hospital room. Hmmmm. Hey that's the Calgary Tower. Hmmmm. Why the hell am I in Calgary? Then in rapid fire, speed these next thoughts hit me. No processing time. Just fast very fast. Whereas the other thoughts had been so slow to crystallize.
- I'm in Calgary
- I'm in a hospital
- I must be hurt
- that's my sister-in-law
- OMG OMG OMG
- if my SIL is here that must mean Myles, Alexis, and Austin are dead
- there was a car accident and I'm the only survivor
OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG
Then nurses rushing in with needles, me panicking, fighting, OMG OMG OMG and darkness overtaking my vision.
(I asked my SIL she says this was July 26)
Austin wakes up and tells me he is scared. I ask him why. He is thinking of the time him and dad went to a bank and dad started crying. Austin says dad was so upset leaning on the counter he couldn't talk. So Austin had to tell the lady he was crying because his wife just died. But today almost two years later Austin is upset he didn't tell the lady that his mom had died.
Innocence of children.
This brought back to me waking in a hospital bed. I'm thinking I should know that voice. Why do I know that voice? Who is that? I'm looking past her out the window, thinking Red Deer doesn't have skyscrapers. I'm in a white room. Hmmm. Why are there tall buildings? Who is this woman talking to me? Why should I know her? I'm a long way up. Hmmm why do I have needles in me? Why do I have an IV? This looks like a hospital room. Hmmmm. Hey that's the Calgary Tower. Hmmmm. Why the hell am I in Calgary? Then in rapid fire, speed these next thoughts hit me. No processing time. Just fast very fast. Whereas the other thoughts had been so slow to crystallize.
- I'm in Calgary
- I'm in a hospital
- I must be hurt
- that's my sister-in-law
- OMG OMG OMG
- if my SIL is here that must mean Myles, Alexis, and Austin are dead
- there was a car accident and I'm the only survivor
OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG
Then nurses rushing in with needles, me panicking, fighting, OMG OMG OMG and darkness overtaking my vision.
(I asked my SIL she says this was July 26)
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