The Black Hole
My memory has improved substantially over time, which is really scary as it's what I consider terrible today.
I don't have a diagnosis for it. If it's from the SCAs, if it's from the hypothermia treatment, if it's an actual brain injury.
After my SCAs I didn't know what certain things were. A pizza that had been in my life for twenty years, I had no idea what it was. I didn't know how to eat it, if I liked it, or even if I wanted to eat it. Kids laughed at me.
I couldn't remember the simple letters ICD. I called it "that thing".
Spelling, grammar, punctuation, math all took a severe hit. I couldn't read a book.
I lost everything from fall of 2009 till my SCAs in 2012. I can get senses of dejuvue at times but not the memorie. Saying or typing a certain word escapes me. I'll change an entire paragraph to avoid word usage.
I can do things, or participate in a conversation, and a day, a week, a month later I have no idea it happened. If I think of paying bills that must mean I paid them right? No.
It's all frustration, being tired, being anxious, is all overwhelming which makes it all worse.
I was told what I had back by the end of the second year is what I would have back. That's a month away. I'm not back. :(
I was a certified management accountant. Numbers were a second nature to me. I lived them, breathed them, manipulated them. After my SCAs I couldn't help my fourth grade son with math homework. I still can't remember the times tables. Addition or subtraction is often wrong. It's devastating.
Much of a persons identity is tied to memory. I call it my gray time but really it's a huge black hole sucking in and destroying everything.
I don't have a diagnosis for it. If it's from the SCAs, if it's from the hypothermia treatment, if it's an actual brain injury.
After my SCAs I didn't know what certain things were. A pizza that had been in my life for twenty years, I had no idea what it was. I didn't know how to eat it, if I liked it, or even if I wanted to eat it. Kids laughed at me.
I couldn't remember the simple letters ICD. I called it "that thing".
Spelling, grammar, punctuation, math all took a severe hit. I couldn't read a book.
I lost everything from fall of 2009 till my SCAs in 2012. I can get senses of dejuvue at times but not the memorie. Saying or typing a certain word escapes me. I'll change an entire paragraph to avoid word usage.
I can do things, or participate in a conversation, and a day, a week, a month later I have no idea it happened. If I think of paying bills that must mean I paid them right? No.
It's all frustration, being tired, being anxious, is all overwhelming which makes it all worse.
I was told what I had back by the end of the second year is what I would have back. That's a month away. I'm not back. :(
I was a certified management accountant. Numbers were a second nature to me. I lived them, breathed them, manipulated them. After my SCAs I couldn't help my fourth grade son with math homework. I still can't remember the times tables. Addition or subtraction is often wrong. It's devastating.
Much of a persons identity is tied to memory. I call it my gray time but really it's a huge black hole sucking in and destroying everything.
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