Frustration

Frustrated at myself. Frustrated at life. Frustrated at circumstances that can't be changed.  Frustrated to the point of sobbing hot tears.  Do tears help? I don't know but I sure can't get them to stop.  The only thing I'm not frustrated with is the kids.  I love them with all my heart.  I want the world for them.
Being dealt the hand of two special needs kids is hard.  Throw into that same hand my issues and I'm lost.  How does one move forward? Beyond the one breathe at a time that is?
When love isn't enough what then?
I often hear that everything is within our own power to change.  Tonight I call bullshit.   Fantastically hot smelly bullshit.
All my power in the world won't make Austin less autistic.  All my power in the world won't make Alexis or I have LQTS.  There is nothing that can change those things.  Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

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