Merry Season and goodbye to BAH-HUMBUG



It is a sad thing to think a friend or family member may have made this and sent it in to POST SECRET for me. I have a hard hard time with the holiday season. Bad things, bad memories, bad occurances, happened to me as a child at Christmas. It is very hard to get over them. Yes I have been to counselling but there is only so much that can be erased from ones mind.
I am extra busy at work at this time of year as well, my social anxiety is put to the absolute test with all the get togethers and parties I must attend, and then just my personal belief that commercializm is far to rampant at this time of year.
I try to keep Christmas a fun and enjoyable time for my kids and family. I really do.
As DH and I were wrapping presents yesterday when the kids were at Mom's we were talking about the difference between last Christmas and this one. Last year we were watching pennies, making gifts to save money, and wondering when the blow would fall. This year we are thankful that our kids are in the "getting" category and not the "wanting" category. It is a real blessing and a very enjoyable feeling. Yes I work hard, and DH work hard, for this to be a possibility and there are sacrifices the year long, but this year I am enjoying it. I truly am. Wrapping those presents, those physical reminders on how life can change in so short a time, really made me realize that I need to put the past behind me, and concentrate on the here and now. I really do. I will do this. I will. Will you all hold me to it????

My work Christmas Party was held on Saturday night, the entertainment "Blue's Brothers Revue" was awesome. Jake and Elwood put on a show to be proud of. Totally enjoyed it. Laughed like I have not laughed in long while. I even got a few compliments on how I looked, that is not often heard by me. I enjoyed them. Funny though Austin was napping when I got ready. I was wearing a dress, had my hair and makeup done, and was sitting in the living room when he woke up. He looks at me and says I want my Mom. LOL. Poor little guy, Alexis trying to compliment me says, Mom you don't look like you. Ummm thanks I think. My Mom even said I looked nice.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

April 19 is a rough day

Image
20 years ago today I miscarried a baby. I can imagine myself with a 20 year old running around. Maybe even a grandma, that is a rough thought. For years when I could not conceive I wondered if I was being punished for miscarrying my first. I was young, got pregnant in college, and was sick all the time. I had morning sickness 24 hours a day every single day, I lost a lot of weight. I was alone and I was scared. I went to bed one night feeling very ill, I woke up two days later in the hospital. I had hemarraged and been uncousious, and almost died. I miscarried in my fifth month. When I missed college some friends tried to reach me and couldn't so called my ex and he had the landlord let him in. It saved my life. I have always felt so guilty that I was just that little bit relieved that it had happened. I was so young, and on my own, and did not want a child raised the way that I had been raised. Feelings just all over the place. It hit me like a ton of bricks again w
Read more

Well I made it and I survived it

Image
I am finally 40. Entering the prime of my life. I think it is all how you look at things. So if I look positive it will be postitive. This is the decade that is going to be about me. I had an adult decade on education, I had an adult decade on family, now I want one on me. Thanks Jenni for calling last night, I miss you and you are welcome to come back to Alberta and visit any time. I got the cutest birday card from Poncho with her original photography on it of a koala, I love it. I feel spoiled and loved and it is nice to feel that way. I got a cake sent to me at work yesterday, a balloon arrangement with a teddy bear and chocolates and some basic grey paper. A bunch of girls from SJ went together and organized it all. I feel so honoured to be counted as one of their friends. I got to talk to geminigirl (Carrie) yesterday as well, she is one of the sweetest people I know. Thanks for calling.
Read more

Back to school

Image
DD first day of grade three is today. She is very excited to be going back, and hoping she gets her dream teacher. There was a fiasco last year at the start of school and DD started with her dream teacher and then they moved her twice more and she ended up with a split teacher room. This year she hopes she gets Mrs. K, for good. I hope the school has their act together this year. She didn't want me to drive her, she didn't want me to follow the school bus, she wanted to do it on her own just like last year. She was happy to have mom wait at the bus stop with her though.
Read more