Happy Birthday to my Niece
My neice turns 29 today. She was born way back in 1980. Such a long long time ago. When she was a little girl, I had her so much of the time. When she was "little" her Mom would drop her off with my Mom and me and she would be with us for weeks or months at a time. When I left home at 17, for some reason my sister stopped dropping her off at Moms and started dropping her off with me. I worked, went to school, was a single parent in all intents and purposes to a child that was not my own. This continued for years. Once she started school, she would get left with me for the summer, or holidays. I often had to scramble to find child care in a city that I was not familiar with. At times I thought she would end up with me permanently. I took her places, bought her things, she went travelling and camping with us. I sent her to camps. Basically she was like my own kid. Or so it seemed.
Then I got hurt, I couldn't do the things I used to do. Money was more of an issue. All of a sudden I wasn't the cool aunt anymore. She didn't often want to come. I never pressed her. Then she started getting into trouble. A few vandalisms, a few shopliftings, and things just kept going downhill. Then the drug abuse, alchohol, and sex started. More trouble with the law.
Over the last 11 or so years, I have sent her to rehab, had her leave on more than one occasion. Had to bail her out on more than one occasion. Nothing was ever the same. She was with a dead end guy as a bootty call. Lies were told, accusations made, we drifted further and further apart.
In time I went on to have my own kids. The niece lived either with my Mom, or her Mom, or on the streets, or who knows where. It was hard. During a time period she was living with my mom she swore she was clean, not using in moms house, then one day Mom finds used needs stuffed down behind a cabinet in the bathroom, where my young children could easily have got them.
Last Christmas she phoned and wanted to come to our house for Christmas. I asked if she was clean, or at least not high, and that NO drugs come into my house. I go to pick her up, bring her up for the meal. Coats from all guests were just thrown ont he bed in my room. Well later that night, I find a baggie of needles and drugs on the floor. I was beyond furious. Beyond.
We have not spoken since.
Mom invites us down to her house for Thanksgiving. DH asks if niece will be there, not as far as I know. So we go. Well when we got there my sister was there, my Mom, and niece is in the bathroom, for probably 20 - 25 minutes. Comes out and immediately starts acting goofy, and eating. After the meal I go to the washroom, and yup right out in plain site is a needle and bloody swabs. arrrgggg.
Then her boyfriend starts phoning, and texting, and is all ticked off that she is at her families place for too long. She is carrying on, and it is just a disaster. A controlling, abusive, a-hole she seems to not be able to live without. Drugs in the bathroom, but swearing to her mom and my mom that she is clean. Yah right.
I have to let go, I have to keep her away from myself and my kids. It hurts so damn bad. I see the promise of that little girl hugging me and saying I love you Auntie S all those years ago and wonder where it all went.
Then I got hurt, I couldn't do the things I used to do. Money was more of an issue. All of a sudden I wasn't the cool aunt anymore. She didn't often want to come. I never pressed her. Then she started getting into trouble. A few vandalisms, a few shopliftings, and things just kept going downhill. Then the drug abuse, alchohol, and sex started. More trouble with the law.
Over the last 11 or so years, I have sent her to rehab, had her leave on more than one occasion. Had to bail her out on more than one occasion. Nothing was ever the same. She was with a dead end guy as a bootty call. Lies were told, accusations made, we drifted further and further apart.
In time I went on to have my own kids. The niece lived either with my Mom, or her Mom, or on the streets, or who knows where. It was hard. During a time period she was living with my mom she swore she was clean, not using in moms house, then one day Mom finds used needs stuffed down behind a cabinet in the bathroom, where my young children could easily have got them.
Last Christmas she phoned and wanted to come to our house for Christmas. I asked if she was clean, or at least not high, and that NO drugs come into my house. I go to pick her up, bring her up for the meal. Coats from all guests were just thrown ont he bed in my room. Well later that night, I find a baggie of needles and drugs on the floor. I was beyond furious. Beyond.
We have not spoken since.
Mom invites us down to her house for Thanksgiving. DH asks if niece will be there, not as far as I know. So we go. Well when we got there my sister was there, my Mom, and niece is in the bathroom, for probably 20 - 25 minutes. Comes out and immediately starts acting goofy, and eating. After the meal I go to the washroom, and yup right out in plain site is a needle and bloody swabs. arrrgggg.
Then her boyfriend starts phoning, and texting, and is all ticked off that she is at her families place for too long. She is carrying on, and it is just a disaster. A controlling, abusive, a-hole she seems to not be able to live without. Drugs in the bathroom, but swearing to her mom and my mom that she is clean. Yah right.
I have to let go, I have to keep her away from myself and my kids. It hurts so damn bad. I see the promise of that little girl hugging me and saying I love you Auntie S all those years ago and wonder where it all went.
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