Happy Birthday
Today is my birthday my real one. I'm 47, I'm now officially closer to fifty than forty....lol.
I hated turning 45, I thought the world was ending. I wrote about it in my journal I keep. At 45 I was closer to 50, I thought it was horrible. I wanted no acknowledgement of that birthday, no cake, no presents.
I wonder if I was fore-shadowing events yet to come. Just five months and three days later I died. For the first time. The next three days saw me have more sudden cardiac arrests. I don't remember any of that year. I don't remember the angst of turning 45, I've just read that journal I kept, talked to friends, and loved ones. I didn't want to turn 45.
Now two years later, I'm grateful I'm here to celebrate 47. I'm enthused I'm here to celebrate it. I want to infect everyone with my enthusiasm. I could scream it from the rooftops. I want to shout, and dance and be doted on, and showered with hugs and kisses, and hearts and presents and cake. They can even be all the cheesy overdone Valentines stuff I used to hate. This day is far to special not to be celebrated.
Today I'm 47. I'm HERE, I'm ALIVE, that means the world to me.
I hated turning 45, I thought the world was ending. I wrote about it in my journal I keep. At 45 I was closer to 50, I thought it was horrible. I wanted no acknowledgement of that birthday, no cake, no presents.
I wonder if I was fore-shadowing events yet to come. Just five months and three days later I died. For the first time. The next three days saw me have more sudden cardiac arrests. I don't remember any of that year. I don't remember the angst of turning 45, I've just read that journal I kept, talked to friends, and loved ones. I didn't want to turn 45.
Now two years later, I'm grateful I'm here to celebrate 47. I'm enthused I'm here to celebrate it. I want to infect everyone with my enthusiasm. I could scream it from the rooftops. I want to shout, and dance and be doted on, and showered with hugs and kisses, and hearts and presents and cake. They can even be all the cheesy overdone Valentines stuff I used to hate. This day is far to special not to be celebrated.
Today I'm 47. I'm HERE, I'm ALIVE, that means the world to me.
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