The Proudest Thing I've Done
Austin and I are getting ready for bed. I'm trying to explain to him that when I lose my temper and rage that it's not him. That he's not bad, that my brain just isn't letting me deal with the situation. I'm not rational. But how to explain that to a little boy? I don't want him to think he is the cause. What he did may have started my meltdown but really it isn't him. It's me.
I'm trying so hard to explain why I'm not the same Mom I was before I died. Talking and talking and talking. I'm so very very glad I lived so I could see him and Alexis grow up. We share big hugs. I'm crying and so is he.
Then in his little boy tentative voice he says. "I did the best thing I ever did when you died Mom". I hold him tight, and pull back looking into his eyes and ask him what?
He tells me the Proudest Thing He has Ever Done......
"When you were in the hospital after you died; Dad and I went to the bank. Dad started crying; I told the lady "it was okay and to give my Dad a minute, because my Mom and his wife had just died." I can envision this undersized very young 8 year old saying that in such a detached manner. It's just the way he is. The lady at the bank most likely didn't know what to make of the two of them that day. She wasn't able to help with the password issue which just upset all issues even more. I hope she went home that day and gave her loved ones an extra hug. I'd love to thank her and let her know she enabled my little son to have his Proudest Thing He Ever Did.
I'm trying so hard to explain why I'm not the same Mom I was before I died. Talking and talking and talking. I'm so very very glad I lived so I could see him and Alexis grow up. We share big hugs. I'm crying and so is he.
Then in his little boy tentative voice he says. "I did the best thing I ever did when you died Mom". I hold him tight, and pull back looking into his eyes and ask him what?
He tells me the Proudest Thing He has Ever Done......
"When you were in the hospital after you died; Dad and I went to the bank. Dad started crying; I told the lady "it was okay and to give my Dad a minute, because my Mom and his wife had just died." I can envision this undersized very young 8 year old saying that in such a detached manner. It's just the way he is. The lady at the bank most likely didn't know what to make of the two of them that day. She wasn't able to help with the password issue which just upset all issues even more. I hope she went home that day and gave her loved ones an extra hug. I'd love to thank her and let her know she enabled my little son to have his Proudest Thing He Ever Did.
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