SHY

A word to describe myself is shy:

I have the hardest time in the world having attention drawn to myself. From the time I was a very small child and knowing I had to make myself invisible in order to be overlooked. I am shy. I am okay sometimes in situations that are one on one, but in a large group of people I have a difficult time. Call it anxiety, call it being an introvert, I just am shy. On the flip side of that though I love public speaking. I can be the centre of attention then, with people that I do not know, that I do not have to worry about their opinions of me, I can command the attention that I so often avoid in my every day life. Being shy also means I often do not speak up for myself, when I really should. It means that I miss opportunities. I am not a social butterfly. All because I am shy.

The winter watch was out Friday, it did not hit, I got to go to my 12 hour crop Saturday and when I went home Sunday Morning at 12:30 it was cool, but clear and nice. When I woke Sunday morning at 8, the wind was blowing hard enough to wake me. Not good. The temp dropped the wind blew. We are sitting now at -23 with a windchill of -40 to -50. Here in the city it was -47 this morning. Schools were open, buses running, daycare open, work open. I chose to drive DD to school. Exposed skin will freeze in under 5 minutes. Not letting a 7 year old wait for a bus in that. Extra blankets, and safety gear in the vehicle. The drifts from blowing snow are bad, the suzuki sidekick 4x4 high centred even. Fan not making good sounds. Get to work and the furnace guy van is in the parking lot. Not a good sign, cool cool cool at work.

Comments

Cheyenne said…
I was so shy as a kid I used to put my arm up and cover my eyes so people couldn't see me. I don't do that anymore but sometimes I wish I could. And walking into a roomful of people? Good Lord no.
Public speaking? No way.
10:32 PM
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