Depression sucks

Depression sucks it truly does. I have no idea how to pick myself up, dust myself off, and not be depressed. Meds don't work, mind over matter doesn't work, what does? I find more and more people that I know are suffereing from depression as well. Is it because we surround ourselves with negativity? Is it because there is so much stress in the world? Is depression a diagnosis that is just plain easy to give?

My niece turned 26 on Saturday. Two years ago she had a go at flesh eating disease. It destroyed her one arm and shoulder, we almost lost her a couple of times on the operating table, and she has severe scars both physical and mental now. She says she can't keep a job because of people discriminating against her arm and the way it looks. WEll wear a long sleeved shirt then. She has lived off of my Mom for going on years. It bugs me. It really does. She gave my kids a hug on Saturday afternoon, and says out of the blue, well this is probably the only chance I will ever get to hug a kid. I know she just turned 26 and is feeling her clock ticking, but really. Get your like in order. Is she using drugs I do n't know. There has to be some reasonf or her extreme shifts in moods from up to down. At my daughters 6th birthday party in July, I really did not know who the six year old was. I didn't. But I have also seen her so friggen angry that she scared me. She is not allowed un-supervised time with my kids she scares me that bad.
I deal with chronic pain every day, I go out and work even though it kills me, I still get up and go every day. I have two kids to look after. I have bills to pay. I don't have much but bills, but man I do it cause I have to. How do you instill that attitude in someone?
Anyway it rained all day yesterday and started snowing in the night and is still snowing.
Cool wet damp weather, not the best kind for me.

Comments

Anonymous said…
Im sorry you are feeling this way...I agree with the idea that we tend to surround ourselves with negativity...and like you read on my blog I cut alot of that crap out of my life and literaly felt it all being lifted off my shoulders...I too live everyday with chronic pain due to an ulcer..but like you said I still do what needs to be done, I dont think you can instill that in someone they have to want to do it for themselves but if to many people are being a crutch then why would they KWIM? I hope you feel better and I know the weather isnt helping ~HUGS~
3:53 PM
Cheyenne said…
Believe me, it does not take much to get depressed these days. I get little teeny bouts of it, but so far they haven't lasted much beyond a half minute. But it scares me that they may start lasting longer, and I try to dismiss those feelings very quickly.
10:30 PM
Anonymous said…
It really doesnt take much to be depressed these days. I've even been away from sj fighting my S.A.D. I hope you are feeling better soon oscar! hugs!
1:27 AM
Leslie said…
it hits us all at different times. sometimes we can pull out and sometimes it's like we're forever struggling to break the surface. Thinking of you and hoping you have a better tomorrow. Hugs.
lesfitz
10:55 AM
Kristin K Stock said…
I am totally agreeing with you on this one. I am trying really trying to do some things differently in my life, but it is hard, real hard. I guess that is why we need each other. Every day that you send me a PM or share a silly list post with me it makes me feel a little better. I am glad that I am able to find the positive in some of my days, which includes being friends with you.
2:16 PM
Broken Beth said…
Yeah it sucks, seems like everyone is feeling that way as of late.
2:50 PM
Paula... said…
Oscar I'm so sorry you're feeling so low! I find I battle depression so much more during the lead up to up and during the darker winter months. It must have something to do with the seasons - I'm sure of it. Maybe you need to move someplace where the sun is always shining. Hmmm easier said than done hun! Fill your house with bright fun colours and flick on a sun lamp :)

I'm sorry, I wish I could come give you a hug and help you through this.
5:05 AM
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