September 17, 1996

I am merrily going on my way to work one morning. I am stopped at a red light. The light changes to green. The car infront of me proceeds through the intersection and I follow. WRONG MOVE. An idiot that was driving runs the red light, and totals my sidekick. I am injured in the crash. I have months of pysio and massage and recuperation. EXCEPT. I never get better. I never get over the pain. It just keeps on in my life. I am eventually diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. A very controversial thing to have happen. So I live my life in chronic pain, and disability and the guy that hit me got to walk away with a $35 dollar ticket for undue attention while driving. Well it is over 10 years later now. The case is still unresolved and I have about had it with my life. I hate being in pain all the time, I hate it. I absolutely utterly hate the restrictions it places on me. I hate everything around me because of all the rage inside me. And guess what no one cares. They all say, it is due to the pain. Well yah right. It may be due to the pain, but do something about it. Get some resolution in my life. I get those good naysayers that go "oh you are so lucky" or "just think it could be so much worse". Well I don't want to hear it. This is what I live with day in day out and I want it acknowledged. I want someone to hear the cry of pain. The agony of life. I want someone anyone to listen.
"Do not judge me until you have walked in my shoes." and I will afford you the same courtesy.

Comments

Lori Petticrew said…
hugs! i *heart * ya....
11:26 AM
Anonymous said…
I am sorry, Oscar! I don't even know what to say except to let you know that you are loved! Mona
11:29 AM
Georgina said…
Hey Oscar! Sending big hugs your way. I am sorry for how you are feeling right now. I cant even begin to imagine what you are going through but know that I'm thinking of you!!
1:03 PM
Leslie said…
I'm so sorry for how you're feeling right now. Just know I'm thinking of you and glad you are here today. Hugs to you.
lesfitz
1:08 PM
Cheyenne said…
Ya know? that's just the pits. That isn't right. You should be painfree and living your life, not tied down with that nasty title they threw at you. Isn't there someone who can alleviate that pain? A doctor, the hospital, anyone...it just doesn't seem right that you should be in that position. And as far as that guy that walked away with a $35 ticket...and it's still an ongoing case? Wow, some lawyers, huh? I will keep you in my prayers, if that's OK with you.
3:54 PM
Anonymous said…
I wish there was something I could do. I know there are no words I can say that will make you feel better. And honestly that kills me. Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers daily and I am always here if you need anything. You are an amazing mother, an incrediable friend, and I truly believe the world is a better place because you are here. ((hugs))
11:55 PM
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