Whats a Mama to do

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That was AWESOME

That was AWESOME were words heard constantly from my DS during our vacation. DS 4 and DD 7 Feb 7 - Flew out of Calgary direct to LAX, delayed due to snowstorm in Toronto. Went to downtown Disney and checked it out. Picked up tickets. Took over an hour to do as Disney could not find Westjet vacations reservation for one of the character dinners, thank heavens I had the printouts with me. Feb 8 - Into Disney land. Took the train around the park. Rented a locker. $7 ouch. We did main street then hit Splash Mountain (numerous times), haunted mansion, Critter country, Pirates, New Orleans, the Pooh characters. DS is scared of them. Walking really tired him out. Hit CA for the Electric light parade, and some rides. The zepher, jelly fish, orange. Were some of the last ones out of the park. Watched the fireworks from the balcony of the Camelot. Could hear a lot of the music that went with them. Feb 9 - Went to IHOP for breakfast, then hit the hotel pool, cool water, but the sun was wonderful....
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April 19 is a rough day

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20 years ago today I miscarried a baby. I can imagine myself with a 20 year old running around. Maybe even a grandma, that is a rough thought. For years when I could not conceive I wondered if I was being punished for miscarrying my first. I was young, got pregnant in college, and was sick all the time. I had morning sickness 24 hours a day every single day, I lost a lot of weight. I was alone and I was scared. I went to bed one night feeling very ill, I woke up two days later in the hospital. I had hemarraged and been uncousious, and almost died. I miscarried in my fifth month. When I missed college some friends tried to reach me and couldn't so called my ex and he had the landlord let him in. It saved my life. I have always felt so guilty that I was just that little bit relieved that it had happened. I was so young, and on my own, and did not want a child raised the way that I had been raised. Feelings just all over the place. It hit me like a ton of bricks again w...
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