Oscarisms

I think we need a cyber hug day: So here goes: A hug to Tony Stewart for getting hurt in Nascar. A hug for Ashley and Clayton and what they are going through. A hug for Kristen and having her race car in a wreck and not being there for the driver. A hug for Jolene whose mom is spiralling out of control. A hug for Jessica and her attemps to conceive. A hug for Patter and her daughter. A hug for all the service people overseas fighting for the world. A hug for my little boy and girl who have too grouchy a Mommy. A hug for silver who lost a Grandma. A hug for Carrie and "Dad" A hug for Christy and a special one for her old wrinkled pillow. A hug for my Mom for watching my kids last night so I could go to a stampin up party. A hug for my hubby, I miss you so much. So now I tag you to send out some cyber hugs.

Sometimes I sit and wonder what ever happened to service and courtesy. It just blows me away that it is not a given now, but an exception. My friend Kim made the comment that in the states whenever she said Thank You the reply was Uh HUH. Here in Canada the reply is No Problemo. What happened to You are Welcome, or it was my pleasure. Going out to a restaurant today. It was pasta Tuesday. Seven of us go from work. We ordered at 12:10 we got the meal at 1:03 after having asked to speak to the manager. No apology was offered just the reasoning that since it was pasta Tuesday the chef was behind. How does that explain two other tables of four coming in after us and getting served and finished and leaving even before we got our dishes served. No service. I will not be in a rush to go back there any time soon. Or asking for help in a store. And hearing back, thats not my department. What about offering, to call someone for you. Or let me find out for you. I waitressed years...

7 DEADLY SINS PRIDE – Which of your attributes or talents are you most proud of? I am very proud that I am a strong independent woman. ENVY – What brings out the green-eyed monster of jealousy in you? Seeing a husband do little things for his woman. Open a door, hold a hand, carry the bags, little things that just show how much love there is. SLOTH – What’s your idea of relaxation? Being able to sit back with my feet up drinking a coke and watching TV without any other sounds around. No kids, no hubby, no sounds. LUST – Who do you lust after? My husband, I wish we were together to get it on even more. GREED – What was your last budget blow out on? I bought a bunch of BG and bazzill paper for scrapping ANGER – What gets your blood boiling? People that show no respect, judgemental people, people who tell me to suck it up. GLUTTONY – What’s your favourite food? seafood, specifically lobster. mmmmmmm My sympathy going out to Tony Stewart in NASCAR for getting hurt. Get better quick Tony...

Sounds stupid doesn't it. But I am afraid of clowns. I do not like to see them, do not like pictures of them, or statues of them, and I certainly do not like to meet them. Daughter was invited to a birthday party this afternoon. It was held at Sparkles the Clowns Party Room. And in I walk, and what is there to greet me but Sparkles the Clown. Somehow someway my mind just did not acknowledge the fact that a clown would be there. My heart starts pounding, my breathing goes wacky. I ensure the adults in charge are aware of daughters allergies and I am make my escape. I think it took a good 10 minutes for my respiration to return to normal. Now I just have to be brave and go pick her up, knowing what is there waiting for me. ewwwwwww

I think about this often. Very very often. I think I would go back to the day when my Mom got pregnant with me and prevent it from happening. Erase me from the entire world. I think that would be the biggest re-invention of all time. Not having to have grown up hearing constantly that I should not have been born, not being abused, not having to fight so hard for anything I ever wanted, not having to live in constant pain, not having ruined husbands and kids lives. I think that would be a great re-invention. Think of the better things that would have happened without me around. My Mom's life would have been so much easier without an after the fact baby, my sisters would have had it much easier without me, I wouldn't have drug my husband from achieving his dreams cause I was hurt, I wouldn't have kids that hate their mother. I think that would be it. The re-invention that erases me from life.

There I have typed it and even said it out loud. My life is stupid. I so want to know what my purpose here on earth is. I want to know. I have looked death in the eye a number of times but survived, so there has to be a reason. Doesn't there? Or is Earth really hell, and death would let us go to heaven? So why do I think my life is stupid? Well here goes. 1) I am an educated, independent woman. Due to injuries incurred by an idiot that ran a red light I am unable to live my life the way I had envisioned it. I am in pain daily and have restricted use of my body and the pain takes a terrible tole on my energy. I am forced to work at a job at a level so far below my education level that it is ridiculus. What is worse is that I even have trouble doing that job within the confines of my energy and concentration. There is no way it should take the time that it takes me to do it, but it does. 2) My husband is a educated man as well. However he can make more money in the oil in...

Daughter getting a very rare treat of an ice cream cone. Look where I found son on Monday night. In Drumheller on Sunday Mom and a dinosaur.

A favorite restaurant of mine. Let me see that would be one of the few occasions that I get to go out and not have to cook. With a husband that is on the road eating out all the time, when he is home the last thing he wants is to go eat out. He wants a home cooked meal. Some dishes I love though, Chinese food, the mushroom burger at Red Robin, Red Lobster I love seafood, Mario's has an awesome hot hot hot calmarie that they do. Joey's Only has an all you can eat shrimp night. For fast food it would have to be Wendy's. For all my US friends if you don't have these chains in your country poor you. Something I do for myself. A blog challenge. I am always looking after others and doing stuff for others first. When do I do something for me. This is hard, I work almost full time, I am a single mom all week long, I have a sick mom and an elderly MIL that I try to look out for, I live in daily pain and am tired constantly. I guess the last thing I really did for me t...

I do not know where the time has gone, but I actually took my oldest to register her in public school for grade one. Can't believe it. Wow. Where has time gone. All I know is that September will be expensive by the look of all the fees that are due. She was excited to go and see it. A brand new playground is beeing but in right now too. So that has her excited. She will get to ride the school bus too. Amazing at what excites the kid the most. I won't ever have to TRY and nap again mom. That is what excited her the most. Please not the emphasis on TRY to nap. LOL

I am not much for the monarchy. I think it is outdated and that Canada does not need the figurehead of the queen. It does not mean much at all, but costs lots. But having today off in celebration of the reigning Queens honor was sure nice. Spent the day scrapping with my daughter. It was good. I actually got some pages of mine own done. Usually it is all her. but she is getting more independent all the time. So Happy Day Queen!

Got up and hit the road early today. A road trip down to Drumheller. Closest thing that Alberta has to a desert. Very canyon like, and dinosaurs galore. Makes a great tourist town for the dinosaurs. The Royal Tyrell Museum is an awesome awesome museum. So my daughter and I go down to it. I know I will hurt like hell cause of the two hour drive there and back but daughter enjoys it so much. Some quality time with mom. Took the vette. IT helps to eat up the miles. It truly makes it easier on me. So we hit ride the ferry accross the river, then hit the museum, then go into town and daughter plays at outside waterpark. Freebee that she loves. She wipes out running out of the fountain and skins the top of one foot. She was heartbroken that we would have to go home. But the lifeguard at the neighboring pool bandaged her up and she limped through the rest of the busy day. What a little trooper. Her foot looks horrible and it is all on the top where her sandles will rub on it ...

Kind of sad, time sure passes by fast. I cleaned my son's room today. And packaged up all the baby toys for the garage sale or giveaway. He will be three in a couple of months. The passage of time that fast kind of makes me sad. I know I have in no way been able to enjoy it the way most parents can. I just plain hurt to much and am unable to do with the kids what other parents can do. I often wonder as the kids get older and older if they will resent the fact that I had them even though I was less than perfect physically. How much will they come to hate me due to the pain I endure and the things I am unable to do. I wonder.

I did it. I put insurance on the Corvette. First time I drove it this year. Awesome. It has 79802 miles on it. For a 85 that is low mileage. Then the kicker at 1.09 a litre it took me $78.02 to fill the thing with premium. OUCH. DH was going to come in and watch the kids so I could go to the cruise in. Then he said he couldn't make it home. So I arranged for Mom to watch the kids so I could go. Then DH said he was coming home. So I left the kids with Mom and DH and I went cruising. WOOHOO. Loved having the vette out on a beautiful evening with the top off and the wind blowing in my hair. With my hubby by my side. Such a beautiful feeling. I got to see people I haven't seen since last summer, and of course DH being the car nut he is new even more people than I did. THE BEST part though was I got to sit in a Brand new 2006 Z06 corvette. It only has 406 KM on it. Was delivered on Monday. Talk about drool. OMG what a ride. I knew I wanted one but now I REALLY want one. OMG. ...

I remember all too well what it was like trying to get ready for my graduation pictures. Well today I got to see it from a Mom's point of view. The thing is, it is my daughters KINDERGARTEN graduation picture day. Started off early. Mom you said you would get up and help me. SO out of bed I get. We showered washed hair, got the face tatoos off. Blow dried hair, and then it was the clothes. SHould I wear this, or that, or this, or back to the first one, and over and over and over. Kind of funny now but at the time very expasperating. But she is now dropped off at kindergarten and hopefully she will still be clean by picture time. LOST last night had major major revealations, but still no real anwers. Loved the comment about about "Has Walt ever appeared where he shouldn't have?" Well yes to Shannon and Vincent. I think the tests had something to do with it. Season final of CSI New York last night. Elliot off of AI last night. And I did not get to see w...

Four Jobs I have had 1) an accountant 2) worked in a greenhouse both at register and with the plants 3) waitress putting myself through college 4) babysitting Four Movies I could watch over and over 1) Con-Air 2) Pretty Woman 3) Pure Country 4) Armegeddon Four Places I have lived: 1) Red Deer 2) Edmonton 3) Benalto 4) on a farm All in Alberta Four TV shows I like 1) LOST 2) Survivor 3) CSI any of them 4) Criminal Minds Four of my favorite Vacations 1) Cruise to the Caribean in 1987 2) Cruise to the Caribean in 1997 3) Trip to Colorado Springs Colorado 4) all the trips to Disney land Four websites I visit 1) scrapjazz 2) nascar 3) Red Deer Advocate 4) CKGY (local radio station) Four of my favorite foods 1) lobster 2) crab 3) BBQ ribs 4) doritos zesty Four places I would rather be 1) pain free 2) Grand Cayman 3) Australia 4) Nebraska Four Names of pets I have had 1) Rusty my terri-poo 2) Candy my lori parrot 3) Delilah was a cat I had for years as a child 4) Tiny was my first dog Now I t...

I was speaking with a very wise lady that lives half way around the world from me. She said something to me that shook me to the total core. She said I do not want sympathy, I do not even want validation, I just want recognition for what I go through is real. How very very true that is. I do not often talk with anyone about the trials and tribulations I go through on a daily basis. Just because I don't want people perceiving me as a whiner, or a negative nelly, or a attention seeker. But I would sure love if someone someday just said, I may not know what you are going through but I wish you the best. I have always liked the saying don't judge a person until you have walked a mile in their shoes. That is so true. I wake up in the morning in pain, I have pain every second of the day, and at night my night is disturbed by pain. My neck hurts, my headaches are bad, my shoulders are in pain, my mid back, my lower back is always horrible, my hip and cause I walk funny cause ...

Time does not stand still. It sure moves on. And with that the world changes with it. A very small village that I grew up in is considering dissolving itself from village status. That just seems unbelievable to me. Sure it is a little place when school was in 550 were in town, when school was out there were 50 in town. That was the joke when I was growing up. I guess things have not grown there. There is more government money to help the place out if it reverts back to an improvement district versus a village. And it sounds like it is going to happen. I want to get a picture of the village sign before it disappears for evermore though. I remember being in grade 5 meeting an old old old lady that the village was named after. I don't quite remember the whole story but I do remember thinking that was so neat that the place was named after her. Last night it hit the national news that there is a wildfire burning out of control just a couple of miles from where I grew up. ...

"It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge" Phyllis Diller, and who are we to argue. Yesterday was Mother's Day. I really enjoyed the day. My husband did his best to make sure that I had a nice day. I really enjoyed having the kids yesterday. We played outside had a picnic, and my Mom even came up for a while for it. All in all a wonder ful day. The sun shining, the kids laughing and playing with "Miami" bubbles, the swing set, the slide, the balls, and me getting to sit with my feet up reading and joining in. We made homemade slurpies, and got brain freezes. Just about a perfect day. The downfall was it had to end. Yesterday was as close to bliss as I have had in so long. That I do not remember the last time I felt that kind of peace, contentment, and overall well being.

I am not sure when it happened but spring is here. Just last week everything seemed brown. Today the grass is starting to green up, some leaves are out on the trees, and there are even a couple of tulips blooming at the park. Almost like overnight it came and snuck up on us. I still have not insured the vette yet, the streets still have gravel and salt all over them. By the long weekend next weekend I will be driving it. I will. Vette fever is catching up to me. I had this urge today to be in it with the top down. that would be so nice. I have never been one for Mopar cars but. and a big but. I saw one of the new four door charger Hemi daytonas. DId I ever like it. I can just see me and the kids in it cruising around. Nice nice nice. It was even yellow and black, and I am definitely not a yellow type of car person. Not at all. So until next week when I actually get insurance on the vette, I will have to be content with looking at it.

Well took the two kiddos to the dentist yesterday. My son is almost three and his teeth are great. No cavities. Was great in the chair in the exam and thought all the dental stuff was so neat. Got three prizes cause he was so good. It was his first ever visit too. My daughter not so good of a report. Her teeth are like mine crappy. Totally crappy. No matter how much you floss and brush and avoid candy they still rott. Not nice. She kept gagging on the X-ray thing and they never were taken. She cried so hard with the polishing and the flossing. It scared her so much. Although she could not say why she was screaming. I think for her when she isn't in control that does it. Then the dentist came in. My dentist a lady is away on a crisis leave, and her husband stepped in. This my daughter did not like one bit either. Well the bad news is she has at least five cavities on the back molars. Means she has to go to the pediatric dentist (which she has a huge fear of because...

Not by me mind you but by my daughter. I am not sure to laugh, or cry or be mad. She said she couldn't sleep so felt like scrapping. What a kid. My highschool friend had her baby on the 9th. Our two sons in 2003 were only a few weeks apart in age and now she has a wonderful baby girl. Morgan Anne. Congratulations Denise and Sandy. I get to take the kiddos to the dentist this afternoon. I hope beyond hope that the teeth are doing good. Dentists terrify me and it is hard not to pass that fear on to the kids. It seems they get it by osmosis. LOST last night was kind of disappointing to me. Left more questions as usual than answers. Loved the closing scene with Micheal in the prison room with all shades of black and white and no color. Very dramatic.

I am Canadian. I am proud of it. I was born in Alberta and have lived in Alberta all my life. Alberta is one of the most prosperous provinces in Canada. It is a beautiful place. Canada is known as a peaceful nation. A kind nation. However as a Canadian I can sometimes say that Canadians attitudes sometimes become very lofty. Sometimes some and I say some Canadians not all by anymeans think that Canada is the best and no place is as good and that nothing bad happens in Canada. Well let me tell you Canada has its share of problems too. Let me say first that I have traveled quite a bit in the US. Both alone and with my husband. I have been down there for pleasure, for business, and for racing. I have been to a number of different states and have been met with a wonderful welcoming. As soon as I utter a sentence people peg me as Canadian. I wonder why eh? So many Canadians that have never travelled view the US as just a hotbed of criminal activities. They overlook what is ...

Who I am.

The windy blows and blows. I don't remember it blowing like this when I was a kid. My Mom does not remember it blowing like this when she was a kid. And my 86 year old MIL says it did not blow like this when she was a kid. I wonder if there are records kept of wind. There is of heat and cold so why not wind. I would love to know if it truly is blowing more now and harder now than in times before. Have we cut down too many trees. Are we changing the Earths patterns by so called human progress. I know our seasons are sure different. I remember yearly as a kid snow coming labor day weekend (first one in September) and having snow on the ground till March or April. Now quite often there is no snow on the ground at all until March. That is a huge change. No wonder we are in a drought. Then the rains just run off the dry soil rather than sinking in and floods happen. I am so hoping we do not have another one this year like we did last year. Seeing that water creep accross the parking lot...

As a child I loved Curious George books. Mom was at her wits end re-reading the one that I owned over and over to me. Drove her nuts. When I had my own kids I thought great I can revisit the world of Curious George. Alas, neither one of my kids really care for his stories. I bought myself the two hardcover releases of his books. I love them. Well yesterday afternoon I took my Mom and daughter and me to the afternoon matinee to see the movie of Curious George. I loved it. It was so cuts. The peak a boo part so adorable. I will be getting it on DVD when it is out, and even my daughter had to say she liked it. She is starting to grow up too fast. She can now anticipate what is about to happen. As soon as George looks in and sees the open cans of paint she is OH OH. So cute. I seriously want to get the soundtrack for it too. What a voice that man has. Sends shivers down my spine. In a very good way. Well Friday afternoon me, son and daughter all went to get hair cuts. M...

Yesterday was national Scrapbooking Day. An a day to honor all of us addicts of scrapbooking or just another day for retailers to rake in the dough? I registered a month ago for the evening crop at my local scrapbooking store. I never do days always the evening ones, with two little ones there is no way a day would work for me. When I get home in the afternoon after having had the kids to swimming lessons and going shopping and stuff there is a message saying. We hope you haven't forgotten the crop it started at 11. I phone back and say it starts at 6. She was none to happy with my, but it was their error. SO I get there at quarter to 6 and all the ladies are standing around outside the store. Even the instructor. Seems the day leader left before 5:30 and the night leader doesn't have keys to the store. So we stand around waiting till seven to get in. Since I was an unexpected participant on the night leaders part, there was no goodie bag for me. On top of that oth...

The lottery here is worth 39 million. I actually broke down and bought a two dollar ticket on it. Cannot win if you do not take a chance right? What on earth would I do with 39 million though. It would certainly change my life. I can just see friends and family coming out of the woodwork to try and get a piece of it. I would have to hire guards that is for sure. I would check myself into the Mayo Clinic and have a full medical diagnosis done and find out if anything can be done to help me. Weird but that is the first thing I would do. Getting a chauffer and a hummer would rank right up there too. Not to ever have to drive again unless I so chose would be wonderful. But really 39 million is a lot. Could a person actually spend that in a lifetime. Oh Yes, could I? I am not sure. But my kids would sure have easier lives. My Mom and my MIL would get quit the mothers day presents. New houses for both of them. Travel oh I would love to travel. That would be wonderful. Tha...

I went to my family Doctor today. I have to go every two months anyway for prescription refills however today I was slotted in cause I have been sick and there was a cancelation. My flu that I had is going around the area. It might have been made worse by the antibiotics I had been given at the walk in clinic for bronchitis. They stay in my system for 10 days after the last one take, so I still have five more days of sickness left. Not nice not nice at all. Doctor had no answers for my swollen feet and ankles. It is not high blood pressure. Now the headache that I have endured since January. She had some answers on that one. My neck muscles having been so badly injured in the car accident are very weak. The muscles are having a hard time holding my head up so are compensating by straining even more. Therefore the muscles are pulling against my front cranial cap. Very very interesting, but not really helpful. Not much can be done for such a chronic condition. Very down ab...

I hate life. Life sucks, it is not fair, I hate it. Those are harsh things to say but they are true. So very very true. Especially for me. No matter what I try to do, nothing turns out the way I anticipate. Am I stupid? I don't think so. Maybe I am just naive. Could be? Maybe I just do not think and feel the way other people do. Maybe I am just an exception to the human race. I have a wonderful daughter, a cute son, a husband that when he is home and sober is awesome, a cool car, a professional career. What more is there? You ask? Well I would like to have a single second out of each and every day where I do not feel pain. Is that too much to ask? I would like to be able to smile and feel it in my heart. Is that too much to ask? I would like the sun to shine and actully feel the warmth of it ease the pain of my soul. Is that too much to ask? A time when I did not have to worry? Worry about what you say? Well I worry about our finances, I worry about the state the world is in, I wor...

Well I did it I jumped on board. This will be a forum for me to vent and to just have those Musings of Me for Oscar T. Grouch.