Oscarisms

It seems just like yesterday I was sending Alexis off to her very first Brownie Camp, now she has attended her final camp as a Ranger. Time sure flies.

Myles and I were fortunate enough to get front row seats back in March 1991 when NGDB recorded Live TWO Five at at the Red Deer College. Then 25 years after that with pure luck and Alexis knock for buying tickets grabbed front row seats for 50 Years of Dirt. Amazing both times. Love this band.

Be a Unicorn in a field of Horses, I love this quote, Alexis had wanted this Pusheen stuffy for over a year, I had promised to her in April 2016 and didn't find another one until September 2017.

Alexis and I love to hit the markets held every season at Parkland Nurseries. There is always something new to see, and enjoy.

The three of us all live in the moment and celebrate life as it was taken from each of us at one time and given back, a gift to be cherished the way we cherish each other. Hands meeting on a table from across the world.

The very first time that Austin ever treated Santa like a trusted confident and not a stranger to be terrified of. He was adorable talking so earnestly to Santa in a quiet corner at the daycare Christmas party.

December 2017 Facebook Cover using a template from TDC and #2017 December Mini Kit by Connie Prince http://store.gingerscraps.net/-2017-December-Bundle-Collection-by-Connie-Prince.html

While riding a bus to college way back in 1985 I fell in love with the 1985 Corvette in the window of a car dealership. At that point in time it was nothing but an empty dream. In 1997 my dream was fullfilled when I bought the car (not the car, as the one I bought is a California car), but a two tone blue coupe. Now all these years later I am truly blue at having to sell it to pay for medical bills. I will miss it greatly. It will always hold a special place in my heart, and prove that dreams can come true.

While Myles was getting stuck in the snow at work, Alexis and I were facing a heat wave in Toronto that was producing heat warnings. Connie Prince Winter Walk Templates http://store.gingerscraps.net/Winter-Walk-12x12-Templates-CU-Ok-by-Connie-Prince.html Connie Prince Winter Walk Kit http://store.gingerscraps.net/Winter-Walk-Kit-by-Connie-Prince.html Connie Prince Winter Walk Word Art http://store.gingerscraps.net/Winter-Walk-Word-Art-Pack-by-Connie-Prince.html Created in ios on Affinity Photo and Over App

We have a beautiful park in the center of downtown. Back in 2015 on a nice warm night we grabbed some awesome photos of it all lit up. Connie Prince #2017 December http://store.gingerscraps.net/-2017-December-Bundle-Collection-by-Connie-Prince.html

I have struggled with my hair ever since the cardiac arrests. I lose it in great strands constantly. Not in clumps, not in patches, it always grows back but it seems I'm always losing it. It's everywhere. Gets in everything. I can't wash it without having to clean my fingers several times. Brushing it was strands everywhere. At first I was told it was the death, that the growing cycle is restarted after death, but it just keeps falling out. It could very well be GI issues, or the meds I take. I do know it's worse the longer it is, or maybe it just seems that way since it's more noticeable. I do know that getting my hair cut shorter seems to make it less noticeable.

I have always said that after I was resuscitated following the cardiac arrests and coming out of coma that I felt something was missing. Nothing was real, nothing was the way I thought it should be, I felt lost. I felt I lost myself.  It's something I hear over and over in a variety of heart groups from other survivors, I hear about by reading research papers, and media stories. No one is quite sure what is different but almost everyone says they feel different. Or they lie to themselves to say they are still the same.  I realized tonight while watching a documentary about Voyager 1 travelling through space that I lost my passion.  The definition of passion is:  a strong feeling of enthusiasm or excitement for something or about doing something. Here are these scientists 30 years later still so excited and passionate about the discoveries they made. Still forging ahead and so excited about new areas. They are so passionate about what they are doing. I don't have...

May 2016

"Have you ever woken up one morning, only to realize that your whole world was completely different than it was the day before? I have, and it was scary.

After my SCA I couldn't remember the initials ICD let alone implantable Cardioverter defibrillator. Could not do it. While referring to it, it became that THING, the Thingy, you know the Thing. Then it needed removed. Months later I was going back under for a new fangled subcutaneous one. It was to be called a Thing 2. But upon waking up I'm told, Thing 2, died a quick death, and therefore Thing 3 was in me. Thing, Thing 2, and Thing 3. Altogether have caused untold pain in my life. Four surgeries in total. Implant, Explant, Debridement, and Implant. The initial implant site under my left collarbone can hurt like hell. It's a strong deep ache at times. The actual device sitting along my left ribs though causes PAIN. Red hot fiery pain. Without being careful, bending over can feel like the device is tearing it's way out of me. Something simple like tie-ing shoes, is agony. Lower cupboards, the fridge, items off floor can cause me to see stars the pain is so sever...

My son, my little boy, not so little any more actually, did something these past four months so far outside his comfort zone that I'm not sure I could be any prouder of him ever. The Aspergers kid, the autistic one, you know, "that" kid. The one no one is friends with, the one that is always left out, the one that always feels alone. Yeah, him. As an option in the first term of Grade 7 he was stuck in both Art, a disaster waiting to happen, and Drama, a what were they thinking choice. Art, the place where you get dirty, you touch texture things, stuff gets under your nails, stuff is on you after washing. The absolute worst place a sensory kid could be. He touched the clay, he moulded the clay, he had an idea in his mind and he brought it to life. He shaped, formed, and fired a Tar Pit Monster. Then he painted and glazed it. I get this call will you come pick me up? He didn't want it broken on the bus. It's awesome. Drama, the kid that can't stand even putt...

My fear, anxiety , my absolute terror of needles, dentists, blood had me hyperventilating and crying in the chair at the dentist before I even saw The dentist. I felt like a complete baby yet had no control over any of it. Is this my new normall? I received  the lecture on trying to save the tooth with a root canal and crown but no guarantees. Without that tooth I have nothing on that side to chew with or hold my top plates in place. This in turn will trigger my TMJ.  Me the person that is phobic about proper oral hygiene and freaks out at bad teeth, has this issue and three other cavities. I'm heartbroken, scared and just horrified. Simple $$$ dictates it be pulled. The dentist very sneakily snuck in the first needle and it hurt. It was like a huge electrical shock against my tongue and cheek.  The tooth disintegrated under the tool, and needed to be drilled out. It was terrible.  It froze well but lots of pressure. How do I make the change so the rest o...

I had a massive breakdown crying spree on the stupidity of higher education a couple weeks ago. I received a beautiful brand new accounting certificate in the mail.  During the summer all Canadian accounting organizations merged into one. I went from being a CMA to being a CPA. EXCEPT I'm on permanent disability, never to work in accounting again, mailed the new certificate in error during the merging of data bases. I worked so very hard to get an education, to ensure it was in a field that would always exist, to ensure I'd never be on the poor side of poverty again.  The uncertainty of life is hard. 

If spring is seen as a new beginning is fall seen as an ending? The dormant browns blanketing our scenery would seem to think so. There I'd nothing to indicate any hope ahead, just more bleakness.